Throughout high school, Myah faced the struggle of anxiety and depression head on. After a long time of trying to make herself “good enough” to come to the word, Myah purchased a Hosanna Revival Bible, and began to discover, for the first time, what a love story with Christ really looks like. Myah’s story is one of beautiful obedience to consistent time with Jesus, and a testament to how that time can change the rest of your life. Read on to hear more of Myah’s story.
My sophomore year of high school was, what I consider, my rock bottom. I was struggling with anxiety and depression more than I ever had before, my relationship with God was more distant than it had ever been, and I was relying heavily on finding my identity through other people. In the spring of my sophomore year I purchased a bible from Hosanna Revival with the intention to do Bible journaling and, hopefully, get to know the word of God better than I did at the time. I needed a creative outlet, a place to get to know my Savior and not feel as though I had to keep the pages perfect. Little did I know that through the purchase of this Bible, God would completely take hold of my heart.
I was convinced that I had to reach a certain level of understanding and performance in order to be “worthy” enough to have a relationship with God--“worthy” enough to read the Bible.
I had always been interested in the Word growing up--I would illustrate what I read, or try to read the entire Bible in a year. I was always looking for a way to gain more head knowledge rather than heart change through my time in the Word. This mindset controlled how I viewed the Word of God for so long. I was convinced that I had to reach a certain level of understanding and performance in order to be “worthy” enough to have a relationship with God--“worthy” enough to read the Bible. My sophomore year, God made it painfully obvious that He does not call us to make ourselves worthy for Him. After a year of intense anxiety and depression, He showed me that I could not achieve the level of performance I thought I needed to. So instead of striving, I surrendered. To His power, His glory, His love. Nearly every morning I would get up at 4:30 am, get to a coffee shop by 5, and spend two hours of uninterrupted time in scripture. In this season of surrender and pursuit of Him, God entirely changed my heart. Those early mornings of time fully devoted to Him are what brought about a real heart change, and a passion to know Him in a new, raw, and honest way.
A few verses at a time--I studied. I surrendered, I gave it all to Him. And as the months went by, I was able to see His heart in my struggles--the purpose for my pain. He revealed His plans to me through my patient obedience to simply be in His presence.
I cannot begin to explain what consistent time in the Word did for my relationship with God. People always told me that the best way to grow closer to God was to spend time reading, but I didn’t truly understand it until I began doing it myself. I slowly became more aware of what God was putting on my heart, and what He was ultimately calling me to do. I learned that our relationship with God is very similar to those on earth in the fact that quality time strengthens it. So, I continued to dig in. I started with Romans and became more and more curious about what God was telling me. A few verses at a time--I studied. I surrendered, I gave it all to Him. And as the months went by, I was able to see His heart in my struggles--the purpose for my pain. He revealed His plans to me through my patient obedience to simply be in His presence.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
- Romans 5:3-5