In her senior year of college, Sara was left in darkness as her relationship ended, and depression began to take over. In this heartbreak, Sara slowly cried out to Jesus, desperately hoping for healing to her terrible pain. Read Sara’s story to hear the beautiful, life-altering ways Jesus came to her in her brokenness and brought her back to the light.
I received a Hosanna Revival Bible for my 21st birthday after finding the company on Instagram and immediately being awestruck by the beauty of the artwork on the outside. Initially, I picked out the Bible because of how beautiful the outside cover was, but since then, my Bible has become a place where I write everything--my prayers, words of truth, devotions, and revelations of truth. It’s become a part of my everyday life. Basically, I don’t go anywhere without it.
I opened my Bible and cried tears on it’s pages—calling out desperately for God to hear me, for him to save me from what felt like never-ending darkness. I began to turn to Him, even in my crying, confusion and desperation, with simple cries for help. In turning to him, I began to be restored. Slowly, I started to heal.
After buying my Bible, I had no idea how hard the following year would be and how desperately I would begin to cling to the words inside of it. For the past year, I have seen places of darkness that I have never experienced. I walked in isolation, anxiety, and depression and let fear drive the car that people saw as Sara. My senior year of college was the hardest time that I have walked through. Not only was school demanding mentally, but physically, emotionally, spiritually--I felt depleted. Things got darker as I would sit in my bedroom crying, but have no idea why. I began crying out--hoping that God could heal this life-halting pain. I pushed friends out and began to let darkness win.
During my final semester of school, my best friend moved away, and shortly after that, my boyfriend ended our relationship. Everything seemed to be crumbling as I desperately clung onto any bits of my life that I could. It felt as if my world was falling apart. My relationship with my boyfriend was the last crutch I was holding onto--a thing I just couldn’t let go of. I opened my Bible and cried tears on it’s pages--calling out desperately for God to hear me, for him to save me from what felt like never-ending darkness. I began to turn to Him, even in my crying, confusion, and desperation, with simple cries for help. In turning to him, I began to be restored. Slowly, I started to heal.
In this restoration, I have realized just how badly I needed that final moment of hurt to then turn to Jesus with arms wide open, finally able to give it all to Him. My relationship had ended, I had pushed people away, and I had come to a moment of complete reliance on the Lord. There was nothing else to cling to except for Him. I remember saying, “Okay Lord, I have nothing and I belong to you. Use me as you will.” It was a real act of raw and vulnerable surrender as I realized I had nothing left to give.
As I have used my Bible, my walk with the Lord has changed dramatically. I was challenged, I was pursued, and I was loved through the sweet and convicting words on the pages. The Lord wrecked me in such a way that I could only fall back in love with Him all over again, and see first hand how He promises to resurrect us from death to life. He will always bring light to darkness and He loves us more than we could possibly ever imagine.
Interacting with scripture has really allowed me to understand who God is and His almighty power through revealing what I'm not — that His power is truly made perfect in my weakness. Since getting my Bible I have been able to see just how loved we are as creations of God, and how desperately we need Him in all seasons of our lives — not just when we are hurting.
Psalm 66 has shown me just how great the God is that we serve. Every single one of his actions is good towards His children and despite how we are tested, we are promised that we are brought out to a place of abundance. This word “abundance,” is the word that I have had so deeply ingrained in my heart and mind as I have been walking out of a season of darkness and into the light. His love is abundant, his promises are abundant and no matter how hard or hurtful the season, His love, grace, mercy, and delight in us is abundant.